Weddings are such a wonderful excuse for family and friends to come together. Unfortunately some of us may not have everyone by our side.
Should you include loved ones who have passed during your wedding day? In my opinion yes. I think it is a beautiful thing to do and if done in a way that doesn’t cause distress to you or your guests then it makes the day more special for everyone.
How do you remember a loved one on your wedding day? There are so many ways to acknowledge loved ones who have passed.
Lighting a special memorial candle is a very common way to do this and can be included in both a religious and civil ceremony. If getting married in a church, a special prayer of the faithful could be included. Or a special reading in a civil ceremony.
A personal favourite of mine is having a small photo on the Brides bouquet or on the inside of the Grooms jacket. This is very subtle in terms of the guests and other family members. It is completely for the Bride or Groom and is not a public remembrance. This intimacy can be so special.
I have also seen couples leave an empty chair with a flower on it in the front row if a very close member of family has passed on. This is a beautiful thing to do however for some people they may find it too emotional on the day itself. Visually, this would have a huge emotional impact on you and your family.
It is so important to remember a loved one in a way that is going to be beautiful and feel special on the day but at the same time, you don’t want to do something that could be too much for you or your family on the day itself when your emotions will be heightened anyhow.
One of the most beautiful ways of included a loved one no longer with us is through music. Using a special song during your ceremony is a wonderful way to remember those who have passed. While the song is being played, You can sit back and be thoughtful of the person. If choosing a song that reminds you of them , it will bring back those happy memories and once the song finishes there is no visual reminder such as an empty chair or candle, which could continue to cause sadness throughout the remainder of the ceremony. You can be as subtle or as bold through the song you choose.
One of my favourite songs to sing in dedication for family members who have passed is ‘Beyond the rainbows end’ .
I have gone from site but I am waiting
waiting just beyond the rainbows end
I’m happy in this place that I have come to Because I’m here with my forever friend
Now all your thoughts of me let them be joyful
of things we’ve done and happy times we’ve shared
so don’t be sad dear ones because I’ve left you
Please laugh and talk of me as if I’m there.
Just look up in the sky I am the sunshine
I’m the mist that rises on a summers morn
I’m the gentle breeze that cools the autumn evening
When the birds sing in the tree’s I am there song
This journey I have made one day you’ll make it
You too will be with my forever friend
It’s then once more that we will be together
I’ll meet you just beyond the rainbows end.
The lyrics of this song deal with death but in a beautiful positive light. Having performed it at many weddings , I have seen the wonderful impact it can have and the beautiful atmosphere it can create for the duration of the song without completely taking over the ceremony.
Losing someone close to you is heart-breaking beyond words. When it comes to your wedding day, it is important to remember them in a way that is comfortable for you and your family. It is also important that it doesn’t take over what is meant to be the happiest day of your life.
‘Where words fail, Music speaks.’